Constant Change

Things change. Situations change. Ideas change. Morals change. But what brings about all these changes... is that people change. Sad but true. It's ok when we all change together. But what happens when you realise that you've changed in one direction, and the people around you have either not changed at all, or gone in the opposite direction? sometimes we say to someone "don't ever change." but do we really mean it? i remember thinking that abt some ppl here. i used to enjoy being with them so much that i hoped they'd never change. you've heard the old saying: be careful what you wish for. i wasn't. i was expecting to thoroughly enjoy myself with the people i used to have such a blast with as early as a year and a half ago. but sadly, i don't think those people exist anymore. they've turned into different people- sarcastic, condescending, selfish... they've turned into people from a different part of my past!!
i went out to dinner a couple of nights ago with 2 boys. I would've used the word 'guys', except 'boys' is more apt. 1 of them, i knew still had a lot of growing up to do. but the other...i lost so much respect for him when we were talking about homosexuality. ok, maybe we all do have the right to our own opinions. i can even respect the opinion of a person who feels that "it's just so..... different.". but i think thas as far as your right to opinion goes. after that, it's just narrow- minded meanness. they were saying how "it's just so freaky!!! being attracted to a woman is what's normal" i got so annoyed after a point!!! i told them "expecting a gay man to be naturally attracted to a woman is as impossible as expecting it to be normal for one of you to be attracted to a man." but no. at the end of the day it was still "so bloody freaky. freaks of nature - yuck!!! they can never reproduce." well by that logic, a barren woman or a sterile man is equally a "freak of nature" or how about someone who just DOESN'T WANT to have kids? does it seem to you like our poor planet has any shortage of human beings? what's the damn urgency to reproduce?
i tell you, i was so shocked that night!!! i used to think this guy was pretty open- minded. or if not open- minded enough to accept it, atleast enough to tolerate it. then came:
Narrow- minded person 1: There's a gay guy in my hostel. he's so weird, nobody wants to have anything to do with him.
Narrow- minded person 2: obviously. if he touched me, i'd kick the hell outta him.
Me: Do you think he's so weird because nobody understands him? maybe nobody's ever understood him. Or even tried to.
Narrow- minded person 2: Who cares? he doesn't deserve for anyone to understand him
Narrow- minded person 1: Yeah, if he chooses such a lifestyle, he deserves it.

uh, hello..... newsflash..... IT'S NOT A CHOICE YOU MORONS!!!!! it's jus the way he is!!! i found myself wishing that that poor guy was sitting there with me instead of these 2 jerks. even if i wouldn't have been able to help with anything, atleast he could sit with me knowing i wasn't judging him, that i was listening to him and trying to understand him, as i would any other human being. key words here: HUMAN BEING!!!! i had nothing more to say the rest of the evening. i was disgusted. as i said, it wasn't the opinions that annoyed me, it was the way those opinions were put forth - so violently. i was disillusioned for quite a while. this was a child who was celebrated in his family as one of the golden kids of the house. this was a child my parents used to compare me to, saying "why aren't you more like him?" Well, all i can say now is... i'm so thankful i'm not like him!!! there are no words to describe how disgusted i'd be if i went into an alternate universe and saw myself talking the way those 2 guys were.
Change. It can be your best friend, or your biggest disappointment, or both. my idea of this guy as someone whose opinions i could respect, was shattered in a matter of about 10 minutes. it was such a huge disappointment, but i gained something priceless... the knowledge that no matter WHAT anybody tells me, no matter HOW MANY of them there are who tell me, this guy was not even a BIT better than me. If i can't respect your opinions, it's because i can't respect you as a person.